Chapter 9

Love Without a Proposal

By the time the question of marriage arose, so much had already been decided without either of them saying very much at all. Grandpa had become a familiar presence in the family home. 阿嬤's parents trusted him. Weekday visits had become part of the rhythm of life, and Saturdays often found the two of them walking through Ximending, talking about work, family and whatever happened to be on their minds.

Their relationship had not been built through dramatic moments. It had been built through hundreds of ordinary ones.

阿嬤 found that difficult to explain because there was never a single day when everything changed. The certainty arrived gradually, almost unnoticed, until marriage felt less like a new beginning than the natural continuation of the life they were already sharing.


That quiet confidence reflected the time in which they lived.

In Taiwan during the 1960s, marriage was often understood as the joining of two families rather than simply the culmination of a romantic relationship. Parents knew one another. Families spent time together. Character was observed patiently over months and years. Once trust had been established, there was often little need for elaborate declarations.

阿嬤 never described feeling swept away by romance. She described feeling sure, and there is an important difference.


As she remembered those years, it became clear that what convinced her was not one grand gesture but the accumulation of many small ones. She had watched Grandpa treat strangers with kindness and her parents with respect. She had seen him work diligently, live modestly and return, day after day, to the family home without ever pretending to be someone he was not.

The qualities that mattered most revealed themselves quietly.

By the time marriage entered the conversation, there was very little left to prove.


A wedding can be seen as the beginning of a love story.

For 阿嬤 and Grandpa, the wedding marked something different.

It was the public acknowledgement of a relationship that had already taken root in everyday life. Their commitment had been formed over shared meals, evening conversations, family gatherings and unhurried walks through Taipei. The ceremony simply gave a name to what everyone around them had already come to recognise.

The marriage did not begin with a proposal. It began with trust, strengthened a little more each ordinary day.

第九章

沒有求婚的愛情

等到婚姻的話題出現的時候,很多事情已經在不知不覺中決定了,他們兩個誰也沒有多說什麼。阿公已經成了這個家裡熟悉的身影。阿嬤的父母信任他。平日的拜訪成了生活節奏的一部分,星期六兩個人常常在西門町散步,聊工作、聊家人、聊心裡想的事。

他們的關係不是靠戲劇性的時刻建立起來的。是靠幾百個平凡的片刻。

阿嬤覺得很難解釋,因為從來沒有一天,一切都改變了。那份確定是慢慢來的,幾乎沒有人注意到的,直到婚姻感覺與其說是一個新的開始,不如說是他們早已共享的生活的自然延續。


那份安靜的信心,反映了他們所處的時代。

在一九六○年代的台灣,婚姻常常被理解為兩個家庭的結合,而不只是一段浪漫關係的頂點。父母認識彼此。兩個家族花時間在一起。一個人的品格在幾個月、幾年的時間裡被耐心觀察著。一旦信任建立了,往往就不需要太多隆重的宣言了。

阿嬤從來沒有形容過自己被浪漫沖昏了頭。她說的是她感覺很確定。這兩者之間,有很重要的差別。


回想那些年,她發現,說服她的不是一個大手筆的舉動,而是許多小小的舉動的累積。她看著阿公如何善待陌生人、如何尊重她的父母。她看著他勤奮工作、簡樸生活、日復一日地回到那個家,從來沒有假裝過自己是別人。

最重要的那些特質,都是在安靜中展現的。

等到婚姻這個話題進入談話的時候,已經沒有什麼需要證明的了。


婚禮可以被視為一個愛情故事的起點。

但對阿嬤和阿公來說,婚禮代表的不是同一件事。

它是一段早已在日常生活中扎根的關係,得到了公開的承認。他們的承諾,是在共用的飯菜、夜晚的談話、家族的聚會和不慌不忙的臺北散步中形成的。婚禮,不過是給了周圍每一個人早已認出來的事實一個名字。

他們的婚姻,不是從求婚開始的。它是從信任開始的,在每一個平凡的日子裡,一點一點地加深。